HONEY-DO'S

My wife asked me one time if I would build a set of shelves in the living room to be used as a library and sewing center. After about 12 years of experiencing my failure as a carpenter, she still had faith in me. Maybe she thought if I keep trying, I'll get it right one of these times............................................. I tried to remind her of my past accomplishments, like the very first set of shelves I built. The shelves came out alright, but I didn't have a sawhorse, and the only room in the trailer that wasn't carpeted was the bathroom. I didn't want sawdust to get in the rug, so I used the John as a sawhorse. You guessed it, cut the John in Half!............................................ She wasn't too proud of me, but after all, I did get the shelves built, so she forgave me for my little mistake.. Besides, half a John is quite a conversation piece!...... The following Christmas she decided that I might be able to build some plywood sleighs for fruit baskets. We had had the John fixed, and she was sure to point our that I couldn't use the bathroom to saw in...................... I still didn't have a sawhorse, and it was bitter cold outside, so we decided that a little sawdust couldn't hurt the rug, and the coffee table would work as a sawhorse, if I were careful. Everything went just fine, that is, until two inches off the end of the coffee table Fell at my Feet! She was, understandably, upset, but everyone in the family got a beautiful fruit basket for Christmas! I had to add a cofee table to her Christmas list, naturally. I didn't go near a power-saw for quite some time after that, but she still wanted some things done around the house. My next project entailed using a drill. I needed to drill a few holes in a piece of metal, and not only did I not own a sawhorse, I also did not own a vice. I thought that I could drill the holes by holding tightly on the the piece of metal. Drilled a hole Right Through My Finger! She didn't get upset this time, and was genuinely concerned as to how I was going to get the drill bit out of my finger. Gritted my teeth, reversed the drill, and that wasn't too big of a problem. The hole healed nicely in a few weeks!............................ We held a garage sale the very next week, and sold quite a bit of junk we'd wanted to be rid of. For some reason, all of the power tools were sold too!.................... And now, here it is, some years later, and she wants me to build some more shelves. Oh well, close the bathroom door, put the coffee table in one of the other rooms, and get out plenty of bandages, cause one set of shelves, coming up!!!!

Comments

  1. Ack.. I wouldn't allow a power tool within miles. ;)

    Did you sell the half toilet and partial coffee table at the garage sale?

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  2. Ha, Ha! Well this story took place years ago. Maybe now they might be worth something on ebay? Ha! Thanks for visiting and follow our blogs if you will. Watch for more funny stories!

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  3. Nice POTW. My husband wouldn't even try and I certainly would not ask!

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  4. haha...love it...dropped over from hilary's POTW...yeah i dont have any power tools either..its probably a good thing...

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  5. Your wife's attitude of still having faith in you is what's commonly known as the triumph of hope over eperience.....I think!

    Congratulations on your nomination for Post of the Week...

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  6. Wow, thanks all for the great comments! Glad you enjoyed the humor!

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  7. Oh dear, your wife's continued faith in your abilities is touching, and somewhat perverse! But you're a good man for trying, and she's a good woman for never losing confidence.

    I do have to ask though, did it never occur to you that buying a couple of sawhorses might be cheaper than replacing the house, bit by bit? ;-)

    Wonderfully funny post, and congratulations on the post of the week mention at Hilary's!

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  8. Great story - those power tools can be dangerous. Visiting from Hilary's. Btw, that is a gorgeous picture in your header.

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  9. Hey Buddy, it's Larry, you know the guy who dug his ass off while u found those 2 nuggets in the hole I was digging with Chris! You can email me at leisurelars@hotmail.com When are u heading back up to that spot again? I have my GMT now, just got it back from being fixed, email me!

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